We know we will have succeeded when we:
include topic sentences from four different aspects of the bubble.
Reread each topic sentences and add in better, more descriptive words and extra sentences with more information about that aspect.
22.7.14
My shoes are realy cool. they have a nice neon green line and a nice bronze shape on the sides.
They are great for running because they are really light!
They are very good looking because they have a shiny look for them.
My shoes are AWESOME!!
23.7.14
The car is a silvery greyie bue and it is a Honda.
It has wido wipers that has stoped half way there and it has some black staind glass on the sides.
It has a red line around the number plate.
The car has got very thick black tyres.
24.6.14
The iPad is shiney on the front and on the back it has a VERY strong cover with the M-edge sing.
It has a sticker that says Clive 12 iPad because all the clive school iPads do but not with 12.
It is a shiney iPad but is has a lot of finer oil smudged on the hole screen.
The iPad is very well protected but when the covers off you drop it on a hard serfic it's gone!=(.
I like you're describing words.
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